The Parent/Carer role is not just a "Title"

I spent years identifying myself with titles such as a graduate, a Building Site Engineer, and finally, an analyst in the Digital space. I had some hobbies, passions, and dreams, but I was so wrapped up in what I did that I would identify as such. 

Person(x): Hello, nice to meet you; tell me about yourself?

Me: Hi, actually I am a graduate, a Building Site Engineer, an analyst ...

For a long time, what I did was really the only thing that I felt stood out about me; it was also a sign that I had done well with my life, made some good choices, and been very lucky. I was proud of those roles, too; they showed I was capable, effective, and could be independent. 

But then I unlearned all that! 

As my confidence grew with age, it became obvious that those that stuck around and mutual relationships that flourished only did so because it was all of me, not just the working me, so I started introducing myself differently.

Person(x): Hello, nice to meet you; tell me about yourself?

Me: Hi, I really love films, and would relish a good walk, as well as safe outdoor spaces. I love travelling ...

Interesting fact, about 50% of these conversations won't carry on, as they would reply with their working identities, which was no longer a mental match with me, but that was all okay until ...

I unlearned all that! 

In 2019 I had a child, and she opened my eyes to a completely different world that had always co-existed with ours and its many forms of identification, the neurodivergent world! I became and will always now be a parent/carer.

Person(x): Hello, nice to meet you; tell me about yourself?

Me: Hi, I am a Parent/Carer

Interestingly, about 90% of these conversations end there and then

Theories: 

1) It can be too painful to talk about, especially if it's relatable.

2) It's a degraded role that many never value till it is a lived experience.

3) Shock factor where do we go from here! I have no idea what she means.

4) That explains the tattered, half-present person look you have right now. I better walk away before you want something from me.

Whatever it is, it never makes a first best impression, but I really don't care.

Being a Parent/Carer is not a title, a role, or a job; it is really an identity; it is an encompassing labour of love, sacrificial, and sadly devalued but so vital to the live(s) that dearly depend on it. It is existential because the only one that truly sees and appreciates it is a human life(ives) no other way of life compares. Everything must be done for that other, so they keep on living because they deserve to live, and at the expense of you.